Haiku

Sleep is elusive

Except for when I'm at work

Then my eyes close fine.

7/22/2009

Dear Lord, guard my heart

From those who prowl and seek to

Devour. Amen.

7/29/2009

Private admit is

only granted to the true

lover of my soul.

7/30/2009

Community Service Spotlight: March Mural Madness (Hands-on-DC)

My second community service project was with Hands-on-DC. Desa and I participated in the March Mural Madness at West Education Campus. There were two murals for WEC – the school mascot (a tiger) and the school pledge, which is the mural we worked on. This was a pretty awesome experience, and we found out that we were working alongside a Baltimore Ravens football player and his family! It was his birthday weekend, and his wish was to do service with his family, which I thought was pretty cool. By the end of the day we were their adoptive family!

Hands-on-DC is currently looking for volunteers for their Annual Work-a-Thon on April 30th. For information on how to support Hands on DC, go to www.handsondc.org.

Community Service Spotlight: Hope and a Home

The first community service initiative during Lent was with Hope and a Home in DC. In honor of the Annual Not Quite a Gala (held tonight actually), I helped stuff envelopes with the invitations. I stuffed over over 170 envelopes in 1.5 hours!!! Go me!!

Hope and a Home is a program in DC that offers transitional housing to families. They also have a program called Work and Thrive, which supports R Street NW teens in their goals to acquire summer employment and thriving in life. Every summer, H&H staff host weekly workshops to educate the teens on filing taxes, budgeting money, and completing job applications, among other things. Hope and a Home also has a mentoring program, where I met my awesome mentee of 3 years!! They also have a tutoring program. This is truly a great organization that meets the needs of it’s community. For more information on how you can help support H&H and for volunteer opportunities, go to www.hopeandahome.org. If interested in supporting Work & Thrive or becoming a mentor, please feel free to contact Crystal Stewart at cstewart@hopeandahome.org.

Lent (April 7, 2011)

So I have been meaning to post for a few weeks now. This year I decided to observe Lent by giving up an activity and replacing it with another positive activity. As all of my close friends and family know, I am an avid movie watcher. It’s how I unwind and zone out at the end of a rough day. And lately, I’ve taken to watching movies whenever I have down time in the day. I have rented so many movies and TV DVD shows since I moved to my new apartment that couldn’t even count them all! I watched the first 3 seasons of Army Wives in less that two months, so that can give you some idea of how much time I spend in front of the television! So for Lent, I decided to give up movie watching. In addition, I am giving up watching television (with the exception of the news, as this is essential!). I knew from the beginning that this process would be a challenge and an area of growth for me. So far, I have experienced a surge in productivity. I have more quiet time to think, something that usually tends to make me nervous! I am looking into odd projects around my apartment, such as patching all those pants (something that I have never found time to do!).

In the place of movie watching, I set a goal to complete 40 hours of community service during the season of Lent!! This is a huge goal, seeing as 1)Lent is almost over and 2) I have to work the hours into my already packed schedule. I have also set the goal to do daily Bible Study and/or prayer time. As of now, I have accomplished roughly 7 hours of service. I figure if I don’t meet my goal, at least I gave it a good try and it will all bring me closer to God!! I plan to post blogs about the service projects I complete, so stay tuned Thanks in advance for the support and encouragement on this journey!

Who are you? (June 8, 2010)

I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I’ve posted to my blog. So much has happened in the past year, and I am still in a transition phase. I am pleased to report that after 2.5 long years I have finally completed my master’s degree in counseling (Praise-a-lleujah!). Now that this chapter of my life is finally complete, I am free to do more of the things I love. The prospect of a life filled with a meaningful career, my love, being an auntie, and evenings of yoga/bellydance/volunteering greatly excites me.

I went to my fave poetry spot last week, and one of the poets spit a line in a poem asking, “Who are you?” While sitting in a small, hot room surrounded by positive energy and packed with numerous talented people, I started to think about the person I am and the person I wish to become. For a long time, my life has been defined by the fact that I was a student. A pretty good student (not to brag or anything). I have just completed my masters degree, which is the highest degree I wanted to complete. Maybe a PhD in a few years, maybe. Now that this journey is complete, who am I? What is my identity outside of me being a student? I recently realized that I was identifying the whole of me as a part. Yes, I was a student, but that was not entirely who I was. Now that I no longer have that identity, the question remains: Who am I?

No one should be defined by just one aspect of their life. I mean, I don’t want to just be defined as someone’s wife (when that day does come!), so why should I limit myself to being defined by my educational status? IN the next few weeks and months I hope to gain a better understanding of my identity outside of my educational goals. This is a difficult question to answer, and I’m sure it won’t be answered in a night or a week’s time. Like my quote says, it’s all about the journey.

Baring one's soul/sharing poetry...one and the same? (June 4, 2010)

I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve blogged. I have major catching up to do. Stay tuned for that post. So I’ve been going to my fave poetry spot for a while now. It’s one of the most therapeutic places in the world. I truly believe that art has the power to heal. I think it must be cathartic in some way to put pen to paper and get your inner thoughts out. To take it one step further and do spoken word is amazing. I was thinking about how people get the courage to stand up and share very personal pieces with people that they don’t even know, and may never see again. People who may embrace your work, and “get you” on the deepest level, or people who may have no idea of what the heck you’re talking about. how do you get past the worry/fear that your work wont be received well? Part of what keeps me coming back is that I can relate to so much of what other people have to say. I share in the collective joy, pain, excitement…whatever emotion one could feel. I am truly grateful that artists have the courage to do what they do. Many a night I leave feeling as though someone understands me, and I am not alone in the world. It’s one of the greatest feelings ever.

Cassie’s hope for me is that one day I can share my poetry and know that it will help someone, and that will be a time when the past (what I wrote about) can no longer hurt me. My boyfriend, wonderful man that he is, is encouraging me in this area as well. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I’ve never been the most courageous person, though my family may tell you different. Moving to another city/trying new restaurants and baring my soul while reading very personal stuff are two different things! What if they don’t like it? What if they are talking and texting during your passionate delivery? I am mortified! Until I am able to read my poetry with no expectations from the crowd, they will stay in my world, private admit only. Maybe one day I will get the courage to go through with it. Maybe. But until then, I will remain the appreciative listen, glad you had the courage to share your inner thoughts with me. Thank you for showing me the way.

Just thoughts…feel free to share yours and let me know how spoken word has affected your life, and if you spit, how you get the courage to bare your soul in front of strangers, night after night. Thanks:-)

It takes a village. (July 22, 2009)

As I was riding home from work today, I discovered a tiny section in the Express covering the trial of Banita Jacks, mother of the 4 children found decomposing in their beds several months ago. The article mentioned a friend of the couple (Jacks and her late boyfriend) who testified in the trial. Apparently, this friend of the family knew of a time when the two youngest children were allowed to smoke marijuana, while the parents laughed it off. Upon reading this, I had several thoughts and feelings, the most noticeable one being outrage. Outrage that WE as a community allowed this to happen. Just to make myself clear, I am not downing on the Social Workers, whom I know caught a lot of flack because of this when the case first came to light. We as a community let those children down, and the blame cannot be placed on one person or group of people. Neighbors, police officers, family members, friends, and possibly even random passersby are all included in this rant. We are so divided as a community today that we don’t take time to think or care about how our neighbors are or what they are doing. Think about it…when was the last time you saw your neighbors? Do you even know who your neighbors are? I know in my building, I rarely see neighbors, and couldn’t tell you who most of them are (I too have work to do). If we see something suspicious, we turn the other way, for fear that someone might retaliate. We assume that someone else will call (the bystander effect) or deal with the situation, absolving ourselves of any and all responsibility. And I have never seen such pervasive selfishness and lack of regard for fellowman than here on the East Coast (my apologies to anyone’s toes I have just stepped on; I am just telling it as I see it). It’s as if so many people here have tunnel vision, and an attitude of “I’ll get mine and you’ll get yours.” Not saying that everyone is like this, just noticing that community is not the same here as in the South. This family friend is testifying now…I only hope that she actually tried to intervene at an earlier stage, instead of just now coming forth with this information.

Other thoughts included the idea that some people should not be allowed to procreate…yes, I said it. And all couples/parents to be should receive some type of parenting classes. Yes, I said that too. But this goes beyond parenting skills, what about sympathy, empathy, and the golden rule? What about love? It is so frustrating as a human being and as a counselor-in-training to see these things happen, to see children neglected, abused, and downright mistreated. Children whose voices are never heard, who must suffer in the silence of death. Children who may go on to continue the vicious cycle or empower themselves and break it. Meanwhile, some couples can’t have children and desperately want them, while others procreate to abuse their children. I don’t understand this, and maybe I never will. When will we learn that it takes a village? When will we learn that as a community we must learn to hold each other accountable? When will we learn to look after one another again? I leave you with the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. who said it best: “Be concerned about your brother. You may not be on strike. But either we go up together, or we go down together.”

P.S. There is so much pain in the world, which can really bog us down. Here’s something positive to consider each day: You cannot control the world outside, but you can choose what you will bring into yourself. If you do not see anything of value in your life, begin by finding one thing of beauty everyday until it becomes a habit. (Unknown)

Age is nothing but a number...but is it? (July 21, 2009)

Just left the mall, shopping for my girl’s bachelorette party. Innocently shopping (examining the cutest screen teens with sayings like, ” Rawr means I love you in dinosaur” and ” I didn’t slap you I high-fived you in the face”), when approached by a 40+ year old security guard. He totally hit on me, and expects me to return to visit him at work tomorrow. Meanwhile, the cute guy in Target, who appears to be in the appropriate age range for me, just stares, smiles, and drools. Says absolutely nothing. Even when I walk by again. Twice. These seemingly unrelated events have got me pondering: what’s the deal with that?! Do older guys just have less to lose, more confidence, or have they just figured out that staring and drooling is not effective?

While on the topic of dating and relationships, I pose a second question: Is there an appropriate age range for someone? Is anyone TOO old? I won’t ask the reverse because legal standards say there is obviously such a thing as TOO young. According to my roommate, half one’s age plus 7 is the youngest anyone should date. Agree or disagree? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Don’t forget to take the dating poll…

Until next time…Ciao!

Banana Pancakes (July 20, 2009)

Great song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkyrIRyrRdY

Ode to Coffee (July 19, 2009)

‘Ode to Coffee’ (my first ‘gone public poem’, not recited tho)

Oh coffee so sweet to me
You help me get back on my feet
when I am on the verge of passing out

i know that you will be my best friend
here til the end
giving me large doses of caffeinated alertness

before i used to hate you
now i just crave you
when i haven’t had enough sleep

2 creamers, 2 sugars, the perfect combination
all it takes is just one sip to bring me to elation

i know that you are mine
and i am yours…
dear coffee it is only you that i love

8-21-07

Back from the batcave...with much on my mind. (July 19, 2009)

So I have returned from my incognito status during examination time. My exam was on Friday and I am thanking God in advance for a passing score. Won’t find out for two more weeks. Just finished watching Confessions of a Shopaholic, which was great. Hilarious and cute, just what I needed tonight.

Been in a funk since yesterday, trying to work my way out of it while at the same time trying to find the root of it and understand it. Just finished taking the biggest and last exam of my graduate school experience (for now at least) and I should be celebrating. Alas, I am not. On the contrary, I am quite down. I realized last night that I was so consumed with the exam that I never contemplated what would follow. Then I understood the problem: I thought I would be done by now. In my head, I should be done by now. The exam usually comes at the end, which is why it’s called a final. Yet somehow I am still here for another semester. Which is fine, maybe I just haven’t fully accepted that yet.

What’s one semester you say? Not a big deal you say. This is true. Yet I have never been more ready to be out into the real world, and my bank account would love it even more! LOL I guess I just look around and see so many people moving “forward” in their lives, progressing to new levels and stages…babies, marriage, travel, promotions, you name it….Yet I feel I am on a never ending merry-go-round that isn’t really moving at all (other than professionally). Who knows. Maybe I am moving and just don’t see it yet….But in the end I keep telling myself, one day at a time, one step at a time. Lillian asks, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time she says. I will get there, all in good time.

Happy Hump Day (July 8, 2009)

So this is my first personal blog, which is pretty exciting! Thought it’d be a good way to share my thoughts and have some good discussions….

So what’s going on with me you ask? Right now I am trying to stay afloat as I prepare for the major comprehensive examination I am taking next Friday, while continuing to juggle an internship, a PT job, and something that might resemble a social life.

It seems as if getting an education means you must suffer for 4+ years in order to say you really know something about something. Everything in one’s life gets put on the back burner as you aim towards that one magnificient goal: a diploma. An educational experience that says youa re ready to work. What about balance? What about the rest of life? Must I really choose between an eduaction and having a relationship/family, having a social life, and making a living?

This brings me to a favorite quote: Education is becoming aware of how little we truly know. I think this is a very true statement. The more I learn, the more questions I have…some of which may never be answered. I guess that’s the way life is…

So welcome to my blog and stay tuned for more