As I was riding home from work today, I discovered a tiny section in the Express covering the trial of Banita Jacks, mother of the 4 children found decomposing in their beds several months ago. The article mentioned a friend of the couple (Jacks and her late boyfriend) who testified in the trial. Apparently, this friend of the family knew of a time when the two youngest children were allowed to smoke marijuana, while the parents laughed it off. Upon reading this, I had several thoughts and feelings, the most noticeable one being outrage. Outrage that WE as a community allowed this to happen. Just to make myself clear, I am not downing on the Social Workers, whom I know caught a lot of flack because of this when the case first came to light. We as a community let those children down, and the blame cannot be placed on one person or group of people. Neighbors, police officers, family members, friends, and possibly even random passersby are all included in this rant. We are so divided as a community today that we don’t take time to think or care about how our neighbors are or what they are doing. Think about it…when was the last time you saw your neighbors? Do you even know who your neighbors are? I know in my building, I rarely see neighbors, and couldn’t tell you who most of them are (I too have work to do). If we see something suspicious, we turn the other way, for fear that someone might retaliate. We assume that someone else will call (the bystander effect) or deal with the situation, absolving ourselves of any and all responsibility. And I have never seen such pervasive selfishness and lack of regard for fellowman than here on the East Coast (my apologies to anyone’s toes I have just stepped on; I am just telling it as I see it). It’s as if so many people here have tunnel vision, and an attitude of “I’ll get mine and you’ll get yours.” Not saying that everyone is like this, just noticing that community is not the same here as in the South. This family friend is testifying now…I only hope that she actually tried to intervene at an earlier stage, instead of just now coming forth with this information.
Other thoughts included the idea that some people should not be allowed to procreate…yes, I said it. And all couples/parents to be should receive some type of parenting classes. Yes, I said that too. But this goes beyond parenting skills, what about sympathy, empathy, and the golden rule? What about love? It is so frustrating as a human being and as a counselor-in-training to see these things happen, to see children neglected, abused, and downright mistreated. Children whose voices are never heard, who must suffer in the silence of death. Children who may go on to continue the vicious cycle or empower themselves and break it. Meanwhile, some couples can’t have children and desperately want them, while others procreate to abuse their children. I don’t understand this, and maybe I never will. When will we learn that it takes a village? When will we learn that as a community we must learn to hold each other accountable? When will we learn to look after one another again? I leave you with the words of Martin Luther King, Jr. who said it best: “Be concerned about your brother. You may not be on strike. But either we go up together, or we go down together.”
P.S. There is so much pain in the world, which can really bog us down. Here’s something positive to consider each day: You cannot control the world outside, but you can choose what you will bring into yourself. If you do not see anything of value in your life, begin by finding one thing of beauty everyday until it becomes a habit. (Unknown)
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