So I have returned from my incognito status during examination time. My exam was on Friday and I am thanking God in advance for a passing score. Won’t find out for two more weeks. Just finished watching Confessions of a Shopaholic, which was great. Hilarious and cute, just what I needed tonight.
Been in a funk since yesterday, trying to work my way out of it while at the same time trying to find the root of it and understand it. Just finished taking the biggest and last exam of my graduate school experience (for now at least) and I should be celebrating. Alas, I am not. On the contrary, I am quite down. I realized last night that I was so consumed with the exam that I never contemplated what would follow. Then I understood the problem: I thought I would be done by now. In my head, I should be done by now. The exam usually comes at the end, which is why it’s called a final. Yet somehow I am still here for another semester. Which is fine, maybe I just haven’t fully accepted that yet.
What’s one semester you say? Not a big deal you say. This is true. Yet I have never been more ready to be out into the real world, and my bank account would love it even more! LOL I guess I just look around and see so many people moving “forward” in their lives, progressing to new levels and stages…babies, marriage, travel, promotions, you name it….Yet I feel I am on a never ending merry-go-round that isn’t really moving at all (other than professionally). Who knows. Maybe I am moving and just don’t see it yet….But in the end I keep telling myself, one day at a time, one step at a time. Lillian asks, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time she says. I will get there, all in good time.
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